Why You Should Be Teaching Your Children To Argue

Should we be teaching our children to argue?  If we expect our children to be able to defend their beliefs, then we need to teach them how to state a premise, to give an explanation that defends that premise and then think through the reason as to why or why not their premise is right or wrong.  Wait, isn't that arguing?   According to the dictionary online it is.

My guest today on Embracing Your Greatness, my radio show on RADIO MARIA was Matt Fradd with Catholic Answers.  We discussed his DVD "How To Win An Argument Without Losing Your Soul".  It became clear within minutes that I picked a guest in which more conversion must be had.

Post by Matt Fradd.

We are called to evangelize but to do that it means we must understand what an argument is and what an argument isn't.  I must admit, when I think of the word  "Argument" I think of a heated debate with veins popping out of a person's forehead and pointing fingers and scowling faces, stiff body postures and definitely yelling.  But that is not what an argument is.  In fact, it is the opposite of an argument.

Arguing?

Arguing?

According to my online dictionary an argument is a reason or set of reasons given with the aim of persuading others that an action or idea is right or wrong.  A great example of this would be of a lawyer being asked by a judge to give his or her "closing arguments" to the jury.  Typically that would not include veins popping out of their heads, yelling and scowling and and the like.   Rather, the closing argument would be a summary statement of one's belief, a few statements to back that believe up and then restating the belief.

For example; "My client cannot be guilty of this crime.  Two eye witnesses place my client out of the country during the time the crime was committed.  The DNA evidence was contaminated because the police did not secure the crime scene and three forensic specialists agree that the results were inconclusive.   This proves that my client is not guilty of the crime he/she is being accused of."

Arguing?

So if an argument is laying a case for or against something then we need to be arguing more and teaching our kids to do the same.

It has become strangely apparent to me that people are having a very difficult time laying out an argument and then entering into a conversation to defend their position.  I think this is because we have forgotten how important it is for us to exercise our brains by using philosophy to broaden our understanding of things.  One reason might because of pride and a misunderstanding of justice.

When we are always right or "argue" a point from a position that we know everything and there is nothing to learn, we miss an opportunity to understand a world that may not use the same terms and definitions we do.  That is why the Socratic Method is a great tool in learning how to argue with people of different faiths or beliefs.  I love the example used on Wikihow.

Statement:  This table is blue.

This table is blue

Question: To a Blind Person is this table still blue?  If no: Proceed to Next Step

Is the table blue to a blind person?

If Yes: What makes it blue to a blind person and not green or pink?
            If someone can't see, what makes the table blue?  Is it their perception? Is it the rods and cones in our eyes that see the color? Is it the light that reflects the color? Is it the pigments or chemical composition that create a color?

This is the most fascinating aspect of using the Socrates Method to argue.  In asking these questions we teach our children the why's and a deeper understanding than just a right answer.  How can we effectively dialogue with someone who may have many different reasons for believing what they believe? We must know what OTHER people believe before we can share OUR beliefs.  To begin evangelizing before we know what the person in front of us believes and why would be like going to Mexico and speaking Chinese.  That would be stupid. Something stupid is something that does not make any sense.  Speaking a language that someone cannot understand would make communication impossible.  Desiring to communicate but choosing a method that is impossible does not make sense, therefore it is stupid.  See what I did there? I just stated a premise and then laid the foundation of belief for that premise.  That is the Socratic Method, well, it is the dumbed down version.  I work best with the dumbed down versions.

The next step for those who decide that table is blue only to those who can see it is to change the initial statement to take the exception into account.

Does a person need to see it for it to be blue? 

Now we challenge the new statement with another question.  "If the table is in the middle of an empty room, where no one can see it, is it still blue?".

What if there is no one to see it?

This reminds me of the question "If a tree falls in a forest but there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?"

This exercise is very important because it begins a discussion/argument on what is sound.  Two different arguments can in theory be very right.  Remember, the point is not to be right, it is to be humble enough to listen to the other persons point of view so as to better understand their logic, their reasoning, their beliefs and thus be more capable of communicating ideas effectively.

This is where I have failed miserably as a parent.  I plan on rectifying this today.  I have understood my children need to be better at defending their beliefs but I have been hard pressed as to how I can help them as 6 year olds, 10 years olds, 15 years olds and 20 somethings on the importance of being able to know why they believe something and then know how to effectively (the key word being effectively) communicate their beliefs to others.  This is evangelization folks.  Communicating their belief in Jesus Christ and their fullness of faith as Catholic Christians.

So where do we begin? According to Matt Fradd ask you child to tell you what a sandwich is.  One example he gave was asking his child "What is a bed?"  His son replied "It is a hard thing."  So he responded with "So it is a rock."  His son replied, "no, it is a big thing."  So Matt stated "It is big, like a truck?"  His small son got giddy and replied "No! " then looking down at his sheets with writing on it stated.."it has writing on it."  Matt laughingly stated "Ah, so it is like a book."  Some may think this is  a silly waste of time with a 6 year old.  I say it is exercising the mind of a future evangelist.  What makes something something.  Teaching ourselves to ask questions so as to allow someone to better communicate, thus not alienating them with us preaching our beliefs but also it teaches our kids to think about why they believe something and how to communicate it in a way someone can understand it.

Brilliant.   Who would have thought the most effective way to teach our kids to be evangelizers would mean to ask them questions and then teach them to argue with us about their answers.

Let me tell you that I have learned so much from people as I have traveled across the globe speaking. I remember meeting a woman on an airplane that was a practicing witch and believed that mother earth was the goddess that effected events in her life.  For the first hour she felt that I was arguing with her to be argumentative.  I was not.  I truly desired to know why she believed what she believed and what were her experiences and "truths" that brought her to her conclusions.  My first obstacle to overcome was the language barrier.  It became very clear to me that when I said "God" we were talking about two different things.  It took at least another 30 minutes of the socratic method for me to understand how to talk about God with her.  Terminology is very important.    The other obstacle was to get her to see that I was not trying to be right or change her mind, rather I wanted to get her to begin thinking about why she believed what she believed.

Too often we think we are supposed to throw people over the walls that separate them from God.  What would happen if we throw people over a wall? They would most probably become injured.  God does not force himself on anyone and neither should we.  The Holy Spirit is what opens peoples eyes to the truth.  Instead of desiring to throw people over the wall, lets bring them a ladder.  Then their progress over the wall can go as fast or slow as they need to go.  It will also be there when we leave.  Evangelization begins with humbling ourselves to know that God has a plan for each of our lives.  He is not dependent upon any ONE person to bring someone to Christ.

If we want to evangelize, we should begin with asking questions.  We should then define our terms.  We should be prepared to state a premise and then to argue it.  When we argue we should be listening to the person we are arguing with so we can better understand their objections with the hope of planting a seed of desire for truth in their hearts.   When people seek the truth, they more often than naught find God.  

So when Matt Fradd was asking his child to describe what a bed was,  he was actually teaching his son to one day become a great Crusader for Christ.  Way to go Matt.

The Icon Of The New Eve and The New Adam; Song of Songs on the Tilma

One of my latest "discernment's" that the Song of Songs is "written"(Icon's are not painted but written and this is one of my main contentions, that there is a message written in the image of the Tilma for the Church of the 21st Century through the lens of Iconography) in the image has been confirmed, at least to me. The priest in the picture is Fr. Tim, someone I believe Mary is going to be revealing much of her plan through in the next several years, please pray for him.

This would be one more demonstration that the technological age that would have the equipment to detect it, would be re-invited to discern the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe. So far, because of a micro-scope, we have found the Purkinje effect, the effects of a living eye as well as 14 people including a family and Bishop Zummarago and St. Juan Diego, all considered to be present in the room at the time St. Juan Diego opened his Tilma and the image suddenly "appeared". The second is the that the Constellations as they appeared at the exact latitude and longitude of the apparition are deposed on the tilma in the exact placement of the morning of Dec 8, 1531 by way of the stars on her outer mantle. Advanced Keplers mathematics and super computers and software programs were necessary for this discovery to be found and then confirmed. Now, a song, may be present and discovered only after entering into the 20th century upon which the music devices have been invented to hear the song? Am I the only person asking the question of "Could there be a message in the Tilma for the Century of the Church that is most like the Aztec culture? We are after all, a culture with false deities, shedding of innocent blood and in need of divine intervention as well as a poor man's catechism to re-evangelize our pagan world are we not?

So, I contend, we are making discoveries in an image that always held these new findings but they were laying dormant until the age upon which would need it most would not only discover it, but through a gift of an outpouring of the Holy Spirit, there would be an outpouring of grace and receptivity to the world so that we would, through the sacred doorway of art, discover the spiritual realm. The Aztec's were catechized through glyphs, through pictures that spoke a language to them. Through the lens of Iconography and science, Theology and Technology are revealing the teachings of our faith once again and I expect to see millions healed, converted and protected through Our Lady of Guadalupe.

I have just been told by a friend who traveled to Mexico and met with Msgr. Eduardo Chavez. My friend told me that Msgr. Eduardo has taken pins and put them into every center of every flower and then had it analyzed and put through some kind of device to test the theory that a song or melody exists within the image. I am not sure if that is a device like the small jewelry box I had that when I opened it, the metal cylinder that when it turned, would spin and the the pins on it would pluck a steel comb creating a beautiful melody, usually, a love song. Well, it is my understanding that Msgr. Eduardo Chavez found found that there is a song or melody in the structure of the flower clusters that when the pins are plucked, creates a tune. I do not have all the specifics on this but am working on getting them and will update this when I do.

I had this same discernment and shared it in May of this year with Fr. Peter Damian Fehlner, the director of the Shrine of OL Guadalupe in La Crosse. Fr. Peter Fehlner is a Marionologist, an expert in Theology as it pertains to Mary. I told him, I believed there is a message about Mary being both Sister and bride. Sister, in that like a twin, she split from her side and gave her flesh, all of it, to Jesus. Sister, in that in the song of songs, we are invited to contemplate the love of the bride and bridegroom as sister first then bride. It is also a message of loving rightly, without the disorder of concupiscence. The constellation of the Gemini Twin is over her belly.


I told him that I believed that there was a song in the image, in the robe. I did not know how to confirm this, yet believed it strongly based on the fact that OLG is the Icon of the New Eve and that I believed the Shroud is the Icon of the New Adam. I have read research of the ancient Nahuatl Indians and that they wrote/painted in flower glyphs to depict love songs and love poetry.

Clusters of flowers were to depict the most beautiful of prayerful poems and music. I told him that I believed that hidden within the clusters on her robe, lies a song. It is a song of holy music. I based this on the fact in their culture dancing is a form of prayer or entering into the prayer.

She IS the woman in the Song of Songs.

The fact that OLG is is dancing meant that she is participating in the song revealing that she IS the bride. Yet, she is making the music because she is performing by playing the morroco which she is holding in the palms of her hands (yet it is sacred music since her pinky's are in the position of St. Anthony's cross). The fact that she is making the music shows her role in the redemption of man as her own conception was immaculately conceived (1st date of apparition) and that through her Fiat, her yes, The New Adam was given flesh and blood from which to give us his Fiat. Just as Adam was free from concupiscence when from his side 100% of his DNA was utilized to create woman. Like an embryonic twin that splits, Adam split and the breath of God into her created woman. So now we have The New Eve, free from Concupiscence, sharing her flesh to give life to the New Adam.

This theology is shared pictorially in that she is holding the morocco in her hand (her immaculate conception and her Fiat, her participation is validated). Mary reveals to all women that we also are called to the redeemer. She is the redemption of woman and so all women have hope of being sung to by the Bridegroom.

Mary participates on every level as Christ makes all things new, she is also assumed into heaven so that the feminine receptive is redeemed and even her body is glorified and risen into heaven just as Christ's was to show the world that while man and woman fell in the garden, male and female they were created, well guess what the tilma and the shroud tell the story through sacred art that male and female we are redeemed. It is the story of Eschatological Man. It is Theology of the Body. That is why the glyph of Blessed Pope John Paul 11 is there as well as the Song of Songs.

I pray if you can share any information on this new research about an actual song being found in the image that you can share with me how to find this information. I have so many more insights to share about what the image of OLGuadalupe is SINGING to the world because within the image, is a message for the Church of the 21st Century.

By the way, there is a message about an unholy and diabolical "trinity" of the dragon, the serpent and the scorpion in the image as well. They are working in a profanation of unholiness all to mock God, but yet, since the very beginning have been bringing about deception, division, confusion and schism (the dragon/draco), murder, death, loss of dignity of person and of life and the shedding of blood acts like gasoline on flames to this entity (the serpent/hydra) and finally perversion, woundedness, desecration of femininity and masculinity (the scorpion/scorpio). Even the sign of scorpio with the M and the forked tail seems to be speak a profanity.

This unholy and diabolical perversion forms an inverted triangle over the image with the head of the dragon being stared down by Mary as she holds the family in her eyes. She is the power upon which we will be protected from this force at work in the world, and has been at work (osiris, isis and horus) since it is my contention they have been at work since the beginning of time, she is going to bring healing of deep wounds to many and she is going to rightly order her children to prepare us for our final confrontation which I believe is coming soon. I believe we are at an end of an age and She desires to be our intercessor, with her son of divine mercy.